Gender issues

I attended the annual Pride festivities this year for the first time. When my children were younger I worried the event, and some of its sights, might be difficult to explain or even traumatizing to them. But this year one of my children expressed interest in going. After consulting a good friend who goes every year, I took them and a few of their other pre-pubescent friends. We went in the early afternoon on the weekend and wandered down Church Street. Rainbowed stalls of crafts, information booths, music, dancing, hoola-hooping, and food vendors greeted us along our way. There was an air of jubilation: It felt celebratory, accepting, and free. You could be who you wanted to be, dress how you wanted to dress, look like a man, a woman, or neither, and love who you wanted to love – it was all good. I was surprised just how positive and loving the atmosphere was surrounding us. One of my children and her friend didn't want to leave and made me promise to bring them back the next day.

Since moving to Canada 11 years ago, I have continually been surprised by the subtle differences between what is valued and rewarded here – and what is discouraged and shunned – compared to the United States in which I grew up. I grew up in university towns on the West Coast, East Coast, and Midwest US, in addition to 18 months of elementary school in Germany. In all the school institutions I encountered, an often spoken and never challenged value was that of striving for and rewarding excellence: The unusually creative kid, the academic genius or hardest worker, and the nascent natural leader were spotted and rewarded for their talents and merit, encouraged and cheered to fly higher – the sky was the limit! Thinking outside the box and challenging each other’s assumptions and viewpoints – even if the other was a teacher or an authority figure – was generally applauded if those challenges encouraged others to think more deeply, understand better, and generated useful or interesting nov